Things that I miss, things that I would like to do

I miss going to company leadership meetings and presenting my viewpoints - presenting results to things that I had worked on for five nights in a row and making business cases and debating the pros and cons of decisions that are being made.  I miss the philosophical and "principles" debates - and the perennial question "But will it make money for us in the long-term?".  Either with clients or with other leaders in the company.

I miss presenting my viewpoints about how training and tools and employee-development should be managed.  I miss arguing with my peers who amongst the team has the highest potentials - and what we can do to maximize those potentials and keep them loyal to the company - or at least happy.

I miss the voice of my former peers - those passionate voices that sometimes fill the boardrooms at 7pm when we all just finished back-to-back meetings and teleconferences.  I miss the arguments - inane or otherwise - but nonetheless, fruitful.

I miss the announcements of new businesses - no, not half million wins, not 1million wins, but 2.5 or 3 or 4 or 5 million wins.  High-profile or low-profile wins.  Wins that make a difference to the company's bottomline - and wins that you know - I know - made a dent and made it possible to deliver bonuses to deserving people in the company.

I miss working late 2-4 days before a major pitch - against 2 other competitors, against 2 more powerful competitors.  We may not win it - but we knew we wouldn't go down without a fight.  We will give our best - even if it all boils down to price and relationships.  We believe in strategies - my peers and I.  We believed in processes - beyond the tactics and shortcuts into real business solutions that went beyond the media plan and discounts and negotiations.

I miss the things finishing worthwhile at 11pm at night or 1am in the morning - knowing that at 9am in the morning, I will be taking this presentation - "hot off the oven" - and present it and make a stellar presentation, answering questions that are sometimes inane ("How much discounts will you offer?") to the visionary ("So ten years from now, how do you think this brand will look like against your vision of the media and communications landscape?").

I miss going to meetings - representing Asia Pacific and the different countries that this region encompasses.  From the "emerging" to the "developed" to the "high-pop" to the "high pop-density".  From the "then-tiger" to the "new tigers" to the "elephants and dragons" to the "kamikazes".  I miss working inside a metal tube for 18 hours, not sleeping and knowing that when I get to the hotel on the other side of the world, I was expected to act as if I were in my natural world - my 'own' timezone, my 'own' rhythm, my 'own' life.

I miss going to Starbucks - or at least, getting the Concierge to get me Starbucks ("Quadruple Shot of Espresso Hazelnut Latte - the biggest cup that they can offer, whatever it is... please!") - as I go through last minute over my notes and my documents and my index cards which contain my agenda, my itinerary, my goals:  "What can I do for my region, for my markets, for my clients that I could take home from this series of meetings?"

People think I am soft - patient - kind.

I may be.

But I am a lot tougher than they think.

It's just that I don't believe in freebies.  I don't believe in politics.  I declare my thoughts even if it puts me at risk.  I come up with rational explanations - even if it runs counter with the accepted norms.  (And yes, I may not go far with these beliefs.)

I have proven myself - to others and to myself.  I have delivered businesses - and more importantly I have paved the way for others to build their own businesses and reputations.

That - I am proud of.

That - I would like to do.  Again.

In a big company - or in a small company.  In a for-profit company - or one involved with non-profit.