a friend of mine who works in the finance field - he is one of those who comes up with those complicated equations and stuff so his company can sell them (I think it's called "securitization"?) - kept on telling me that "YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB! YOU ARE NOT YOUR SALARY! YOU ARE NOT YOUR HOUSE! YOU WILL NOT BE YOUR CAR!" (since I still don't have a car).
apparently, he's learned it the hard way when the market collapsed. he saw his colleagues lose their sense of self (selves?) as the financial crisis took hold of their industry.
i asked him, "how did you survive?" (with survive being used loosely as he lost his job during that really blackhole of a period).
he answered, "because i am not my job nor my career nor the letters after my last name nor my car".
immediately after he was laid off, he sold off his Peugeot and downgraded to a more manageable car. he willingly rediscovered the value of public transportation. and eating at really, really cheap places. he also took the time to stock up on books and read.
i am sure that not all of us can do what he did - specially that "taking-a-break-from-corporate-world". but there's merit i think in what he constantly said to me: "YOU ARE NOT YOUR JOB, YOU ARE NOT YOUR CAREER."
this blog from HBR.Org could have captured his entire viewpoints. i really wouldn't know - i have yet to speak with him. he's currently in some remote island in some archipelago somewhere reading books he's never had the chance to read whilst working.
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Detach Yourself from Your Work
by Gill Corkindale
1. Be honest about how much time you spend at work and why. Is it really necessary to work long, extra hours to accomplish your tasks and objectives, or are you regularly staying late for other reasons? To impress your boss and your peers, or simply because you are not managing your time well during the day?
2. Manage your energy, not your time. The excellent HBR article on this subject will help you identify how to monitor and use your energy well. Check your energy levels throughout the day and week. Leave work early one evening a week — say Wednesday — so you can maintain momentum. What is your energy right now and how can you maintain and boost it?
3. Identify and banish time-stealers. These can be in the form of demanding people, routine or unnecessary meetings or tasks, or even your own bad habits. Seek out the critical time-stealers, develop a plan to deal with them and consign them to the past. This should help you feel more in charge of your agenda. What are your time-stealers?
4. Find a buddy or mentor at work. Rather than burdening your partner with work-related issues, find a colleague for a regular downloading session. One friend of mine meets a colleague weekly and they are each allowed a half an hour to rant and rave about issues and seek advice. They find this acts as a great pressure valve for them. Who could be your buddy or partner?
5. Treat time outside work as sacrosanct and refresh yourself. Protect your time outside work as much as you can. You need to be able to switch off from work for your own health and sanity and that of your friends and family. Find a way to refresh and replenish yourself after a week's work. What do you do to support yourself each week? The gym, long walks, visits with friends, a favourite art gallery or restaurant? What is your weekly source of replenishment?
6. Remind yourself that you are much more than your job. However much you love your job, it is a mistake to define yourself too closely to your work. Take time to reflect on what you want to achieve in life and think about your definition of personal success. This should help you during those times when work gets difficult and the pressure becomes unbearable. What is your definition of life success?
via blogs.hbr.org
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