marginally subversive

"I told you so!"

I am going to cut and paste this blog in its entirety - because I couldn't have written it any better.  All I can say is "This explains a lot!".

A New Power Principle?

Posted by: Jena McGregor on May 20

You may think it’s your boss who’s always the one messing things up. But according to new research in the journal Pyschological Science, people with lower-ranking titles are more likely to make errors than those with higher-ranking roles. That’s because, says Adam Galinsky, a study co-author and professor at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management, the “executive functions” of the brain, or the gray-matter processes that override automatic responses, can be impaired when people are put in jobs with little power. In Galinsky’s study, which was co-authored by Pamela K. Smith, Nils B. Jostmann, and Wilco W. van Dijk, subjects who were randomly assigned to be subordinates had a harder time staying focused on goals than those who, by chance, were named to be managers.

The research isn’t the first Galinsky has done on the effects of power on performance. In another study, he had students sit down very close to electric fans blowing in their faces. Sixty-nine percent of those randomly assigned to be managers moved the fans, while just 42% of those named subordinates did. Galinsky believes such research helps confirm why employee “empowerment”—especially in health care, or high-risk factory jobs—should be much more than just lip service. Says Galinksy: “Lacking power impairs those parts of the brain that allow people to stay focused.”

I wouldn't really call it "power" though - it's "control" or the perception of the ability to make a difference and to control one's environment.  Once that is lost - all is gone.

"You're downgraded!"

A few months ago, I was in a quandary - with all the questions converging on only one theme:  Do I want to be a big fish in a small pond or be a small fish in a big, big ocean?

Egged on by something - perhaps, pride and the want to experiment - I tried to be a small fish in a big, vast ocean.  Faced with prospects of growth - financially, personally, and intellectually - I dove in.

Then I realized - 6 months on - that I wasn't ready.

The big ocean is filled with currents - waves that cause boats to move and sway, and sometimes capsize - and strong undercurrents that are far stronger than the waves on the surface of the stormy sea.

I decided that I was a small fish - I had no control over my destiny and that I was transformed from a manager of managers to a mere support player whose main remit was well, change colors in a PowerPoint presentation and extract numbers and calculate percentage growth rates from a simple spreadsheet.

The day ended with me feeling not having accomplished anything - and not having grown an inch.  And that is in spite of having crossed out all the things that are listed on my so-called "treadmill". 

True, I had the chance - for the first time in my life - to come home at 6pm and see the sunset from my apartment (perched on top of a hill, overlooking the skyline of Singapore).  I had - for the first time in my life - the luxury of walking leisurely towards my gym appointments - instead of getting warmed up whilst running to catch the train and avoid being penalized by my gym trainer.

I know a lot of people would want to trade places with me - and yes, that there are a million people - girls and boys - who would kill for this kind of job.

But I needed a reason.

I needed to be imbued with passion - with the feeling that when I lay myself at the end of the day on my bed, I had something done.  Something that is far bigger than me.  Something that could potentially change the world.  Something that could have expanded my mind - a little bit.

I am passionate - but what I have learned is that it takes a little bit to 'light my fire'.  Once lit and kindled, it gives off such warmth, such glow...  Hoping that others, too, could be inspired and be lit and their fires kindled.

And that was it: that was why I threw in the towel and surrendered.

Because I wanted to be a part of something bigger - something that could potentially change the world - something that could change how people see things and relate to others and other things - something that could potentially be bigger and great and well, hope-filled.

BusinessWeek's latest issue had described this as a variation of the "phantom limb syndrome".  Dr. Jerry Sulkowicz says this in his latest column:

Your experience sounds like a variation on "phantom limb syndrome," in which a person receives signals from a limb that's no longer there. Clinging to the phantom executive inside you, I suspect, is your way of dealing with the loss of ... your authority. The best cure, of course, is a new and better position, but that may take a while.

He offers this advice:

How to cope in the interim? The strong emotions you're feeling now will fade in time, but only if you don't make matters worse by punishing yourself. You've suffered a blow, but that doesn't mean you have to lose your self-respect or your sense of who you are. In my experience advising CEOs who have lost their jobs, such feelings (including a sense of humiliation) are frequently self-imposed.

And he further adds that:

Satisfying work, like a satisfying life, is rarely achieved through a straight, upward climb.

True.

But to satisfy one's life, one must satisfy the inner voice - that voice that is calling from within when silence surrounds and the world is quiet.

One of my former bosses - KT - taught me a very valuable lesson that until now I carry with me: "Leaders are not defined by their position or their titles; they are defined by the way they serve other people.  Christ-like leadership - service-based leadership.  Making other people shine by shining your own light."

Photo Credits:  From JML at this site.  Photo is governed by a Creative Commons License.

And yes.  That's what I want to do.

Serving leaders.  Leaders who lead in spite of who they are in the organizational chart ("Employee Number XXX156 from Cost Center XXX123").  Leaders who let their light shine and inspire others to also shine that others around them may also shine.  Leaders who deserve respect - from others who she/he also respects.  Leaders who inspire others - who in turn inspire her/him.

But never a slave.  Never.

I guess - in spite of my being a part of the capitalistic, dog-eat-dog world that characterizes the world that I live in - I still am an idealist.  And that I have never let go of the ideals that my family, my schools, my university and philosophy professors have taught me:  Be men and women for others - by living simply that others may simply live.

"The Dip" by Seth Godin - One Year...

One year ago, I stumbled upon The Dip by Seth Godin.

I wrote earlier about it (but well, deleted it together with the rest of my old blog, Organized Chaos) - and how I got something new out of it each time I read it.

Without knowing that it's been a year, I recently started rereading The Dip again.  Somehow, I felt compelled to re-read it as part of my attempt to understand and discern (a 'deep' word these days in this phase of my life) whether I should make a move or not.

And again, I got something new out of it:  If you can't be the best in what you do in a certain situation, either re-create and redefine the situation such that you can be in your top form or get out.

That's exactly what I did - I tried to redefine the rules with the hopes of redefining the situation I was in so as to get a sense of accomplishment, or being remarkable at the end of each day.

I failed.

So I got out.

A lot of my friends and even colleagues and former bosses told me I was making a stupid move.  It was - in one of my ex-bosses' words - what every one was looking for.  It was, as Nigel and Emily from The Devil Wears Prada (yes, that movie again) defined as "the job that a million other girls (and boys) would kill for".

And I could see where they were coming from:  I come in at 9am, I plonk myself in front of the PC and do my work, I log off at 6pm, head to one of my evening activities - Spanish classes, readings in Stats and Econometrics, readings in Philosophy, visits to the library, dinner with friends, partying and a little bit of drinking, and gym (not on the same night...).

But that, I told my ex-bosses and colleagues who still work 12-15-hour days, how I want my life to be.  I want to be able to use whatever talents I have been blessed with - and make full use of all the learnings I have gathered from 12 years of working with other people (making mistakes, perfecting processes, perfecting the art of asking questions and quantifying them, making sure that things are "perfect enough").

Anything short of that is, well, not for me.

Sure, it's also about the money.  But it's not just about the money - or even tenure or security or whatever else you can think of.

It's personal fulfillment - and the chance to be good and remarkable.

Seth Godin made a request - "take it off the shelf and lend it to someone".

I am sorry, Mr. Godin, I can't.  It just is too useful for me.  Don't get me wrong - it's not the best book I have read.  It's amongst the better books, for sure.  If I were to be stuck in an island for a year and can only bring 10 books, it sure will be one of those 10 books (alongside those books by NNTaleb and Mark Buchanan, and ET Jaynes).  I tend to be very protective of my books (you should see my apartment shelves - they're full of books).  I am happy, however, to tell others about it.  In fact, I have bought a couple of friends copies of your book.  And I would even gladly buy some of my friends one for their birthdays and anniversaries and farewells and all.  But sorry, I just can't part with my copy just yet.  Perhaps next year.