marginally subversive

What I learned from school...

Seth Godin asks in his blog what school is for. 

Seems like a simple question, but given how much time and money we spend on it, it has a wide range of answers, many unexplored, some contradictory. I have a few thoughts about education, how we use it to market ourselves and compete, and I realized that without a common place to start, it's hard to figure out what to do.

He writes down a starter list of what a school ought to be in his entry - and I think all is good, though surely, there could be more what a school is for.

What a school's purpose is for me?  I guess I never really thought about it - but what i learned from school, all four levels of them (kindergarten, elementary, high-school, university) could point me to what school is about.

Photo from my_new_winter_coat

So what are the things I learned from school?

1. I learned that there are some things I could do on my own - like tie my shoelaces, solve problems in algebra and calculus, read and analyze the works of Gabriel Marcel and Immanuel Kant - and there are things that I couldn't do on my own - like understanding firsthand the dynamics of groups and social psychology, understanding what partial derivatives are and how I can visualize them, and how to explain in lay-person terms the philosophy of Socrates and of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
2. I learned that there are classes that one could take for granted - 'military training', where we spent all day marching around and being 'abused' by our 'superiors' for having the wrong haircut - and those that one should take seriously - philosophy, theology, biology, mathematics.
3. I also learned that teachers are human, too - and they can make mistakes.  However, the greatest teachers I have had are those who had the gumption and the courage to say "I honestly don't know" and "That's one way of putting it - and I see your point".  And they'd get back to you with a rebuttal - or further questions and thoughts - the day after.  (In other words, they took the time to have a look at your viewpoint and considered it!)
4. I learned that teachers who give their students "A's" way before the classes start and the exams are filed and papers were read and graded are the ones who get remembered.
   I had a teacher in Uni who saw in me the potential of being a "lawyer-doctor".  He told me on the final day of class that I would make a good lawyer-doctor, and I said, "I can't even decide what to be, sir!"  And he said, "Trust me - you'd be a good lawyer and a good doctor.  You'd do good."  And right before me, he wrote my final grade on that 'official form': an "A".
   I certainly believed I didn't deserve an "A".
   And he said, as I was on my way out, "Believe in yourself - I see the lawyer-doctor in you.  Try to see that in you as well.  You might find it - you might not.  It doesn't matter.  Just see for yourself."
   He was my favorite teacher (who gave me a hard time on my final oral exams in Anatomy).
5. I learned that friends do come and go.  And whether they go and disappear from my life - or whether they stay on as I grow old - is within my realm of choice. 
   I still hear of friends who see themselves every year or every month.  They are the ones I used to hang out with. 
   I don't see much of them anymore.  Because I have made a choice to live my life away from home - not a good nor a bad choice, just that I made a choice.  And it's all good.
6. The worst times brings out the best - or the worst - in people.
   While working on my theses with two of my closest friends - Tanya and George - the best in me soared.  I discovered theories and techniques that were not common or that were not being taught in the university curriculum.  I spent nights and days in the library doing the research  - and validating all the stuff I got.  That was the good side - and it was all because of the desire to hurdle that thing called a thesis.
   The thesis also brought out the worst in me: I almost got into a fist-fight with George.  And for one whole week - during that crucial one-week before the analysis of the data - I didn't speak with either George or Tanya.
   That was the worst in me.
7. "Education" does not just happen in the classrooms.  And the teachers, lecturers, and professors are not just the ones teaching.  We were all students of one another - classmates, friends, peers, barkadas, study groups, professors...  And in one way or another, we teach each other about things academic and of life.
8. I am - and we all are - the sum-total of the education that we received.
   If someone were to ask me what were the most important courses I took in college, I wouldn't be able to say with conviction which ones would they be.  I'd probably say Philosophy of Man (or Metaphysics, as they call it now, I think), Philosophy of Religion, Theology of Liberation, and my core Psychology classes.
   But then again, Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy taught me about shining through in the darkest of hours.  Zoology taught me the beauty of life.  Botany opened my eyes not just to dicots and monocots - but to the order that there was in nature.  Chemistry - both lectures and lab sessions - opened my eyes to the beauty of structures and disciplined approaches.  Computing sciences furthered that.  Calculus and linear algebra taught me to respect the numbers - and psychology taught me to go beyond the numbers.
   I really can't say.

Photo from m00by

Am I better person because of the education that I received?  I think so.  Had I been through something different, would I still be who I am now?  I don't know.  And I guess, I wouldn't know.

All I know is that what I am now - however I may be - is because of the education that I received.  And how I learned to learn.

interesting presentation on CDOs and the financial crisis...

The best and simplest explanation I have encountered... so far...

Why Be Modest? Yahoo Finance Blows Away the Competition

Picked this up from the Yahoo! news RSS - and as a user of Yahoo finance, I will have to agree that yes - it is indeed a great resource.  Significantly better than Google's Finance Pages, Yahoo Finance's pages (US-based, I think, but accessible to SG-users) are a great way to learn about investing - and well, invest.  The real-time prices and the technical graphing capabilities are awesome.

Time Magazine is out with its list of "10 Essential Sites" and we're front and center: "A haven for armchair investors and money junkies, Yahoo! Finance has everything you need to keep up with business — news, stock-specific research,

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Tags: Yahoo, Finance, Internet, Web2.0

"You're downgraded!"

A few months ago, I was in a quandary - with all the questions converging on only one theme:  Do I want to be a big fish in a small pond or be a small fish in a big, big ocean?

Egged on by something - perhaps, pride and the want to experiment - I tried to be a small fish in a big, vast ocean.  Faced with prospects of growth - financially, personally, and intellectually - I dove in.

Then I realized - 6 months on - that I wasn't ready.

The big ocean is filled with currents - waves that cause boats to move and sway, and sometimes capsize - and strong undercurrents that are far stronger than the waves on the surface of the stormy sea.

I decided that I was a small fish - I had no control over my destiny and that I was transformed from a manager of managers to a mere support player whose main remit was well, change colors in a PowerPoint presentation and extract numbers and calculate percentage growth rates from a simple spreadsheet.

The day ended with me feeling not having accomplished anything - and not having grown an inch.  And that is in spite of having crossed out all the things that are listed on my so-called "treadmill". 

True, I had the chance - for the first time in my life - to come home at 6pm and see the sunset from my apartment (perched on top of a hill, overlooking the skyline of Singapore).  I had - for the first time in my life - the luxury of walking leisurely towards my gym appointments - instead of getting warmed up whilst running to catch the train and avoid being penalized by my gym trainer.

I know a lot of people would want to trade places with me - and yes, that there are a million people - girls and boys - who would kill for this kind of job.

But I needed a reason.

I needed to be imbued with passion - with the feeling that when I lay myself at the end of the day on my bed, I had something done.  Something that is far bigger than me.  Something that could potentially change the world.  Something that could have expanded my mind - a little bit.

I am passionate - but what I have learned is that it takes a little bit to 'light my fire'.  Once lit and kindled, it gives off such warmth, such glow...  Hoping that others, too, could be inspired and be lit and their fires kindled.

And that was it: that was why I threw in the towel and surrendered.

Because I wanted to be a part of something bigger - something that could potentially change the world - something that could change how people see things and relate to others and other things - something that could potentially be bigger and great and well, hope-filled.

BusinessWeek's latest issue had described this as a variation of the "phantom limb syndrome".  Dr. Jerry Sulkowicz says this in his latest column:

Your experience sounds like a variation on "phantom limb syndrome," in which a person receives signals from a limb that's no longer there. Clinging to the phantom executive inside you, I suspect, is your way of dealing with the loss of ... your authority. The best cure, of course, is a new and better position, but that may take a while.

He offers this advice:

How to cope in the interim? The strong emotions you're feeling now will fade in time, but only if you don't make matters worse by punishing yourself. You've suffered a blow, but that doesn't mean you have to lose your self-respect or your sense of who you are. In my experience advising CEOs who have lost their jobs, such feelings (including a sense of humiliation) are frequently self-imposed.

And he further adds that:

Satisfying work, like a satisfying life, is rarely achieved through a straight, upward climb.

True.

But to satisfy one's life, one must satisfy the inner voice - that voice that is calling from within when silence surrounds and the world is quiet.

One of my former bosses - KT - taught me a very valuable lesson that until now I carry with me: "Leaders are not defined by their position or their titles; they are defined by the way they serve other people.  Christ-like leadership - service-based leadership.  Making other people shine by shining your own light."

Photo Credits:  From JML at this site.  Photo is governed by a Creative Commons License.

And yes.  That's what I want to do.

Serving leaders.  Leaders who lead in spite of who they are in the organizational chart ("Employee Number XXX156 from Cost Center XXX123").  Leaders who let their light shine and inspire others to also shine that others around them may also shine.  Leaders who deserve respect - from others who she/he also respects.  Leaders who inspire others - who in turn inspire her/him.

But never a slave.  Never.

I guess - in spite of my being a part of the capitalistic, dog-eat-dog world that characterizes the world that I live in - I still am an idealist.  And that I have never let go of the ideals that my family, my schools, my university and philosophy professors have taught me:  Be men and women for others - by living simply that others may simply live.

Interesting...

Is it indeed the time to buy?  Hmmm.  My thoughts?  Any time is a good time as long as you've got time on your side - and some luck.

"Fooled by Randomness"

With all the ruckus that's happening in the US economy and the repercussions that are being felt across the globe, I thought it would be timely to revisit the things that Fooled by Randomness,written by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, are talking about.

Every single day, I see explanations of why certain things are happening - and grim prognostications of financial analysts and economists.  Just today, I was amused by the news on how Bear Stearns was acquired by JP Morgan - and how Bear Stearns, an institution in the finance industry, was bought at a very, very, very low price.

As the market opens, I am sure that traders and investors are all rushing to "unload" and sell, sell, sell.  (I can imagine one of my colleagues now tracking his investments online... I expect that he's going to be up all night tracking the movement of Wall Street.  And that tomorrow may not be a good time to catch up with him.  Maybe, next week.  Post Easter.)

Now how does this tie back to Taleb's book?

Significantly.

If you have not read it, read it.

Well... let me take that back:  If you're used to romance novels and fiction and other light reading, be prepared.  Taleb discusses interesting - but deep - stuff in his book.  You need to exercise those neurons a little bit. 

If you were asleep during your basic stats and probability class, you'd probably have a hard time catching his drift.  But a little patience will do you good.

Fooled By Randomness is a good read.  And a good reminder.

That this - all these ruckus about the economy in the US and its effects on the stock market of different countries - will happen again.  We never learn.  We are not conditioned to learn from our mistakes.  Unfortunately.

With all the stock market talk...

With all the stock market talk that's now dominating the water-cooler banter in the office, I can't help but think: The stock market is all about expectations of humans.

We look at P/E - which shows what our expectations are of the stocks' future earnings and whether it is "undervalued" or "overvalued".  We look at PEG - which also points to an almost similar idea - though it extends it to the future growth prospects of the company.

But at it score, the stock market is where the best - and the worst - of human decision-making comes out.  It is based on fear - of the unknown, of failure, of losing money.

Remember the Citigroup downgrade by one analyst?  She was right about it, I guess, considering that Citigroup's stocks did suffer a beating.  BUT the beating was not just about a single person downgrading or airing her opinions about the stock.  It's the reaction of people towards that.

The stock market assumes that we are rational beings when we trade and invest - and that all we want is to get ahead and earn some cash.   The last part, they got right.  But that we are rational beings?  I don't think so.

Perhaps, the best way to play the market is to understand how the crowd reacts to the news that are given them.  When some news breaks - the assumption of rationality and completeness of information - seems to get out of the window.

And investors react violently - or vigorously - to those news.

I think psychology, sociology, and social networks have got more to do about stock market movements than the reports that we get from the business papers.

The Devil Wears Prada and the Stock Market

My friends are probably going to sigh yet again because for some reason, I am writing about  The Devil Wears Prada yet again.  Well, I honestly think that there is some "wisdom" (OK, wisdom is too big a word) in the movie that could potentially be applied to the changing sentiments of Wall Street.

These are lines from the movie's 'devil' played by Meryl Streep:

You can see beyond what people want, and what they need and you can choose for yourself.

Guess what I think:  I think that those who are going to survive the downtrends in the global markets are those who will be able to see what people want, what they need, what their short-term and long-term fears are, what their aspirations are, what drives them and what disappoints them.

And choose.

The market is supposedly rational.  The movements of Wall Street and of other exchanges around the world are supposedly rational.  We are supposedly trading in a rational world.

But we're not trading in a rational world.

A rational world would be one that allowed everyone - every stakeholder - access to perfect and full information.

One could argue that the internet has allowed access to more information - and that is true.  As I type this, I can the ticker of the NYSE go up and down on my screen.  I also see a stream of news coming in.

Surely, there is more information available - timely information.

But perfect and 'full' information?  I don't think they are.

Now more than ever, corporate people - being people - are more wary about what they say and do because it could spread like wildfire thanks to the internet.

 

So who will profit from this mess?

Those who can see into the fears, dreams, aspirations, motivations, drivers, dampeners, souls, and hearts of investors - and choose and play.

Nostalgia: As I finish my last days in Universal McCann

Eight years which started in October 1999 and started with my boarding a Vietnam Airlines flight to Ho Chi Minh City from Manila:  That was the length of time that I spent in the Universal McCann.  I was proud of what I have achieved in those eight years - but somehow, I cannot help ask myself if I did the right things always.

• When I left Vietnam in September 2001, was I too selfish and scared of the things that could unfold further in the market?
• When I left the network in September 2002 to join another company, did I make the right decision?  Obviously not... since a mere 8 months later, I was back in Vietnam to officially launch the office.
• When I left Vietnam - again - in 2004, did I leave before I could have done the best that I could?  Did I make myself heard enough?

And as I leave now to pursue a new track in my career and start a new chapter in my life, I am bugged by the questions:  Could I have done more?  Could I have made my voice heard more?  Could I have been more aggressive and more intelligent and wiser and better in how I did my job?  Have I been remarkable?  Have I been better?  Could I have done more and more to raise the profile of the company?  Could I have been better?

I guess I won't know.

I wonder if when all is done anyone heard my voice...
But from the start, we have no choice. Our journeys just begin
I'll never know if I was right.  Did I fight hard enough?
Or when the battles grew too rough, should I have given in?
But here I stand and swear to you: I did the best that I could do
I know my voice was just a whisper.  But someone may have heard
There were nights the moon above me stirred. And let me grab ahold
My hands have touched the gold.

Gold
Music: Frank Wildhorn
Lyrics: Nan Knighton

Are these insecurities?  I don't think so. 

Perhaps, it is my commitment to being remarkable, to being the best that I could be, to be able to deliver only the thing that can only be delivered by me - perhaps it is that part of me talking and thinking all these thoughts.

I bring with me memories - and a lot of things that I have learned along the way:  good and bad.

Most of all, I learned that people are people wherever you go.  I discovered, lost, and re-discovered the good in people - whilst I also caught glimpse of the devious nature of the human and how cunning, wily, and manipulative the human can be.

The journey's just begun.

Filipino Doctors, Professionals, Racism and Bigotry

In an episode of "Desperate Housewives", one of the characters asks her doctor "OK, before we go any further, can I check these diplomas? Just to make sure they aren't, like, from some med school in the Philippines?"

Excuse me. 

But as a pre-medicine student myself and someone who wanted to be a medical doctor and in fact, got accepted to attend - yes - one of the major medical universities in the Philippines, this is an insult.

In fact, it is not just an insult to doctors from the Philippines - it is an insult to all Filipino professionals who have graduated from any university in the Philippines.

I graduated from the Ateneo de Manila University - and just for the information of the writers of Desperate Housewives, Ateneo is one of the best-run universities in the world.  So are the rest - the University of the Philippines, the University of Santo Tomas (one of the oldest universities in the world), De La Salle University, University of the East, San Beda College - and a whole lot more other tertiary, academic institutions.

In order for me to get my degree from the Ateneo, I need not only be knowledgeable in my chosen specialization - I also had to be good in Philosophy, in Theology, in English, in Filipino, in Literature, in a "foreign, non-English" language.  We had to take all of these whilst we maintain our scholastic standing in 'specialization subjects'.  And our GPAs - which we call Quality Point Indices (QPIs) - are monitored year on year.

True, there might be - and there are - some who simply want to get by and whose simple objective is to pass their subjects and get out of "university hell" with a diploma. 

But there are some of us - in fact, I would believe, a lot of us - who strive to be excellent in whatever field that we decided to pursue.  There are some of us who never stop learning.  There are some of us who proceed to Harvard, to Stanford, to the University of Chicago, to the London School of Economics, to other research centers that make a difference in the world.  There are some of us who go on and climb the corporate ladder - inside and outside our home country.

And there are some of us who dedicate our lives to service - raising kids that are not our own, cleaning and managing households that are not ours, nursing patients back to health in spite of them not being a part of our immediate family, constructing buildings that we will never live in.  They are perhaps even more deserving of respect because they give themselves wholeheartedly to serve people who are not at all related to them by blood - "service by choice".

We deserve respect.  Filipino professionals deserve respect.

And we deserve more than an apology.

Saying "there was no intent to disparage the integrity of any aspect of the medical community in the Philippines," the producers of a television show that insulted health workers here offered their "sincere apologies" to Filipinos on Wednesday.

In an episode aired Sept. 30, "Desperate Housewives" character Susan asks her doctor: "OK, before we go any further, can I check these diplomas? Just to make sure they aren't, like, from some med school in the Philippines?"

"Sorry" just don't cut it, ABC.

 

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